i helped my cousin do her project, scholarship application etc etc..

im here as a sai-kang warrior again


and then comes my flu + cough again...





he's back in mainland s'pore but i didnt even get to talk to him on the phone nor meet up with him...

he didnt initialised anything..
not even msn convo...
[did he once?]





i dont know.. i dont care anymore..jux ignore me.. let me feel invalid again...
so much for being your 'friend' ...FYI..friend are not only there when u r joyful...they r there to share ur stress etc too.. i wonder if im ur friend..




i like u.. do u like me?



>< frust & depressed..Zzz..

i did a test.. doesnt this sound like so...ME?

Spontaneous Idealist (SI)

Spontaneous Idealists are creative, lively and open-minded persons. They are humorous and dispose of a contagious zest for life(my lame jokes?...hmmm...). Their enthusiasm and sparkling energy inspires others and sweeps them along. They enjoy being together with other people and often have an uncanny intuition for their motivations and potential. Spontaneous Idealists are masters of communication and very amusing and gifted entertainers(yeah.. im the retarded gurl in the clique..tell me abt it..). Fun and variety are guaranteed when they are around. However, they are sometimes somewhat too impulsive in dealing with others and can hurt people without really meaning to do so, due to their direct and sometimes critical nature.This personality type is a keen and alert observer; they miss nothing which is going on around them. In extreme cases, they tend to be oversensitive and exaggeratedly alert and are inwardly always ready to jump. Life for them is an exciting drama full of emotionality. However, they quickly become bored when things repeat themselves and too much detailed work and care is required. Their creativity, their imaginativeness and their originality become most noticeable when developing new projects and ideas - they then leave the meticulous implementation of the whole to others. On the whole, Spontaneous Idealists attach great value to their inner and outward independence and do not like accepting a subordinate role. They therefore have problems with hierarchies and authorities(hmm.. i tink i heard that before).

Advice for my friends!!
If you have a Spontaneous Idealist as your friend, you will never be bored; with them, you can enjoy life to the full and celebrate the best parties. At the same time, they are warm, sensitive, attentive and always willing to help. If Spontaneous Idealists have just fallen in love, the sky is full of violins and their new partners are showered with attention and affection. This type then bubbles over with charm, tenderness and imagination. But, unfortunately, it soon becomes boring for them once the novelty has worn off. Boring everyday life in a partnership is not for them so that many Spontaneous Idealists slip from one affair into another. However, should the partner manage to keep their curiosity alive and not let routine and familiarity gain the upper hand, Spontaneous Idealists can be inspiring and loving partners.


Things i shld add in my testimonial!(adj to describe me!)
Adjectives which describe your type spontaneous, enthusiastic, idealistic, extroverted, theoretical, emotional, relaxed, friendly, optimistic, charming, helpful, independent, individualistic, creative, dynamic, lively, humorous, full of zest for life, imaginative, changeable, adaptable, loyal, sensitive, inspiring, sociable, communicative, erratic, curious, open, vulnerable

i laugh n laugh n laugh like i neva laugh before...!!!


WohoootZ!! had a few disputes.. had a few smelly ones i throw at IC for the day... hahahaha....











woooohoootz! he replied me even though he is tired n dying..
it started out with a hey hey^^ how is today? frm me.. obviously..
then that got a ..Bad. Non stop kena f
me...how come?..y? what happened..?
him...Long story
me...tell!
him...Really super long
me...want me to call n tok?
him...Nah..Next time?
me...Boo :-( ..shag ah? tired?
him...Quite..Can'T rest and recover in time
me...Haiyo! how come? then what r u doing replying my sms..? go n sleep^^ nite! Take care!^^
him...O.O?..Nights then XD. enjoy civilian life. it rocks
[17/01]

Hey how was the fitness test yesterday..? sry neva sms u yest... my off day.. a bit bz^^
-.-...Fail
e e e... then how?
Dunno
=i rush to toilet.. n call him....=
=tok for more then 3 mins..wohoootz! =
then line got cut off ..tink he called me back.. i go in office le..didnt pick up.. =(
smsed me- nights..
my reply-take care^^ dont loose ur rifle! nite!

[16/01]


this is a kind of friendship i wouldnt wanna break! when people make sacrifices for me.. i tink im jux tired of selfish people ard me at times.. when they dont appreciate what u do for them.....

haix...

i was smiling after he replied! =)... hhehehe....


i said heyhey^^neva sms me for 2 days le..boo =( *ignore me one* anw, how r u? ok mahz? 9days le^^ less then 8 days more to go^^

reply lol..

i said haha^^ anw, how r u? surviving? alive? ><>

reply At least you r not unaderpaid. Lol

i said u unaderpaid still dont want people to bring you out n pay for everything..zzz...

reply-.- i will never do that unless the person is super close XD

i said ...Zzzz..will i ever be that kind of friend?

reply Anyone can Lol

i said but u neva allow people to b nice to u .. then how?

reply -.-.

i said eeee... u like that one.. talk in words can?

reply ok.

i said somthing..i cant recall what..

then he rang me! WTH! i was working..lol.. then i pick up n put it down again.. >< him =")=">

he tml have the test..trial test i tink.. sumthing like NAFA he said =) anw, his HP batt is still full bar!! wohooootZ! im gonna start calling him le! :P








jump jump jump! tml is my off day!!

sad lerh.. i neva sms him..

he ignore me one...







sadd..













i bought pink sweets n a pink drink to cheer myself up.. ><











i feel so helpless..so down so shitty.. i wanna tok to sum1 but everyone's life is bz.. i dunno larh..




















Zzzz...

i smsed him "hi hi!! ur 2nd wk at camp is starting soon^^ wohoo^^ u survived^^ hhaha.. lol..Anw,when r u returning to s'pore?"

.. reply " 22..Haha..thanks..LOL..how r u doing?"
..my reply was " 11 days to go^^ hehe^^ wohoo^^ im ok la..still shag^^ hehe u need to ration ur hp batt hor^^.....(etcetc)...
..my reply again " hey^^ got my pay le^^ bring u out on ur 24th can??"
..reply"ok..24 maybe booked"
..my reply" =( y?"
..reply"go out"
..i ignore him
..reply"nights"




i dunno y.. but i feel v frustrated... i care bout him? maybe?...maybe not?... i dunno.. i feel confused.. $^$%&%*^ .. i wait for 9+ pm every nite..even charged my hp..LOL.. i feel dumb..stupid..for waiting?..for looking forward..for expecting a reply? i have decided.. i wanna stop le.. i dn wanna sms.. y am i the one to initiate things?.. the reason i toked to him was coz he initiated most of the convo.. lol.. im tired of taking charge of my life when people cant make plzce for me in their own life n schedule..i change my days for people but they throw it aside like nth.. im tired u know.. jux so shag exhausted n emotionally drained.. i try my best to help n care bout people but i guess i shld jux stop caring harz?








tired.. jux feel like running away frm everything! shit! im supposed to complete my task to monday which is today! $^%^&*%#

if sum of u know what im doing.. u know my life is in a turmoil now..


im trying to juggle 3 lives at one go



my personal friendship life




My business life





My work life






its to the extent i even bought an organiser..











anw, my personal life.. i got that frewn hu i shall call frewn..
that frewn..i sms him 5-6 sms on the day he got enlisted n he only reply me this "lol. jux got my hp." and to tons of qns..."nope. i gtg. bye"

then the next day..i sms him"hey^^ Bleach new epi came out ^^ its abt the fight between ken-chan and the 5th espada^^..anw, i tink u shld b quite shag le..hope ur getting used to camp^^ take care kaes^^... n his reply was "k"(7th)


then the next day i tink i said something to do with how is he(which i ask everyday but he dont bother answering) .. he replied " Hai hai! Tired.." (8th)


the next day (which is yeaterday) i smsed him this "Hi dear! Haha...Hey hey! im dying! i feel super stressed out^^ n feel v shity now..How r u? V tired i suppose..Haix.." ... he replied "ya"
then i replied " Sleep well ok? Take care^^ Gd nite^^" .. n the reply i got was "Night...."










...ZZZzzz..



i wanna quit the job... it suckz.. blehz..

oh well.. i tink the 2nd jan hav jux make the word friend have a new meaning to me..




i toked to an ex-classmate..
chatted online n tok on the phone n i realise something..
i felt v over protective.. >< i dont want people ard me to b hurt...





i feel like i wanna know that friend beta =) hehe... cukoo me.. coz i actually enjoyed toking to him..
Zzz... =) another good frewn-to-be? only time will tell




anw, toked to my senior the other day
catched up on his life.. he seems to be coping well.. ouh well..










yesterday i went to swap my off day to today and got a stern 'why so late then want to swap' tok with a tl.. lol.. in the end tml im not accompanying my frewn for his stuff..lol.. n i tink i pushed it too far yest morn when i toked to him.. imagine jumping ard the SAME topic for almost 2 hours.. >< 2-4am.. then i got headache..=bad mood =super sensitive.. n something he said made me jux snap n bang down the phone.. =X ..n he apologised [i dunno what for coz i was the one hu should for throwing a tantrum] ..lol... haix...



today..i hit 80 inbound calls..lol..90 total stats...LOL! 1st time..in so manyyy days.. haix.. but its hell la.. i dispute soo many dump at I/C. .. Zzz... haix.. then got one..coz i received a msg then i bad mood..then i tok not so smooothly.. in the end frm no dispute become a dispute case..LOL! ...Zz... im unstable ...






























Playgrd Wish Today : how i wish i knew u beta bef ... Lol.. all i can say is that im blind?.....ouh well.. i'll jux wait n wait... Zz...

haha.. hey HAPPIE NEW YR~!.. n a not-so-happie muharram ..(if u wanna knoe..10th muharram is the day one of prophet's grandson was killed by beheading.. its a day called ashura..)


well.. the last FEW weeks of my life.. LOTS have happened!..

my study-buddy bdae..went out with her bef her bdae.. n treated her the whole day =)

this past off day, i went out with study-buddy, CY n bad best frewn!!

the 1st 2..nothing to talk abt..but whoa! i really missed my bad best friend! sooo much to talk abt ..so little time! had an enjoyable day with her! i reaaaaallllyyy miss her so much.. =) we managed to find the perfect (to me it was super pretty..i wanna keep it for myself) bdae present for rachie

ouh yeah..the off day bef this off day, i went out swimming in the morn..lol.. i was tired after 7 laps..thats damn pathetic..then went out with study-buddy to buy her diary..so there we go..to PRINTS.. whoa.. the books there damn ex la! ..anw, i bought a present for elayne n my religious-best -frewn ... lol..n one ENGRAVED keychain for my mom.. lol..took super loong to engrave one key-chain.. so me n study-buddy hang ard city hall area..n went home quite late..lol..
n the farnie story comes in.. i gave my mom the present.. she was soo happie n she tot it was too nice.. so she decided to keep it after work that day... LOL n she misplaced it.. n now its missing..

Lesson learnt frm this event : buy an UGLY present that my mom will use for her bdae next yr!



today.. is my off day.. im so shag n tired after going out every off day.. so slept in today.. n guess what.. i woke up with a headache.. walked ard with the world spinning in front of me.. help my mom make epok-epok.. n just as i was abt to sleep/take a aftnn nap, 2 frewns called me..lol.. in the end.. at 3+ i had to go out for a youth dialogue session ( a uk cleric came down to s'pore for this) ..coz the topic for the day interest me sooo much ' how to deal with Islam in the 21st century' ...then the nite, helped out for the nite muharram majlis...LOL .. n the whole day im weak..tired..n down with a horrible flu.. n i can feel a fever creeping up... =X ... soooo sickkk...




















Playgrd wish for today : i wish i could adopt an abandoned baby frm one of those ISLAM countries that are hit by these conflicts ..n help change that kid's life... i wanna change the world for a beta place.. may allah assist me in this..

my this years' resolution : improve myself to be a better servant of Allah, daughter, ..friend...and a person who can help those ard her..