1st- congrats every1 hu managed to compete in today's finals...

However, i believe that banni could have done beta..

its a matter of stategy and motivation...

jux now motivation = 10%

strategy = 25%

i tink so becoz..its relli dumb to PRACTISe tug-of-war bef the heats...

i pull n pull..u know for the heats i only left with 30% of my energy?...

anw, i applaud Jowell for his consideration jux now...

thanks jowell for talking in English during ur explaination..(if u eva stumble upon this blog)

anw, i dont understand wad ppl sae today..im in a daze the whole day..smile here and there..

but inside i feel like my sec sch self..i feel like my older self..outcasted..neva understanding anything ard me.. anw, i tink sum1 caught me stoning n looking at him.. *blush* PS ...

i wonder if i will eva fit in anywhere..im so lost these days....

sooooo loost.....

hope banni will win cheering....

anw, banni competing in the finals for the 3rd n 4th position for the tug-of-war...

i shall continue stoning..........

am i alive?...

ive lost all my cheerfullness...

lost..........

lost....................
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can sum1 pull me back?

now i keep wondering bout life...

what is life..

whats my significance?

i cant seem to focus enuf...

im behind in everything

studies + hw...

i mux catch up

i have to

i must..

a life i lead..

is one that is a race

a race that i cant be left behind...

a race i have to run....

a race that i have to complete with satisfaction...

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i seem to jump back in time n like who i have almost forgotten...

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anw, i keep tinking now..what is a use of a pretty face?...

if u have no heart?...

haix..

wonder.. ponder..

i feel like swimming...i feel like running...i feel like crying...

moodswings.. r they a part and parcel of life?...

i wonder........

1st - Sorrie that i havent updated for such a looong tym.. =X

2nd- I BLOODY HATE WEDDINGS! they r realli ****ing tiresome for everybody...

why dont malay wedding be like chinese ones..

a dinner..a wedding ceremony..eat ..go home..

with CATERERs to serve to the guests needs?

malay weddings r so troublesome..

i kinda became a 'receptionist gurl'

and i became the make-up gurl...for the lil childrens...

haix...so hate these kindda bloody events..

dress-up + make-up(not that i hate them) + high heels (my skin peeled and bleed!argh!)

anw, im glad its over..the bride = 32 yrs ...groom = 30 yrs... knew each other..3 months..

ouh well..i guess i jux have to wait for 3 more years for the marriage to break..

sry for this but i really believe malay lifestyle is stupid...

grow up ...look pretty..get married..have children..divorce.. ====COMPLAIN ABT LIFE!

realli... thats the reason for me to be so negative abt guys and marriage..

i realli dunno wad to sae..



3rd- aft the wedding..on monday..i had the worst stomach cramps..! argh!..hate having that
thing...sigh..



4th-failed my chem test and econs test again...



5th- friday is the most interesting day eva... morn = motion sickness..

so nauseous..drowsy....

then 1st period.. 2.4km run[went for it coz want to get it over and done with...].....passed by 19 secs?.. LOL...

then chem lect..suddenly..my left side of my head was heavy!..omg..like u sink inside water that kindda feeling...luckily sum1 saved me [thx elaine!..4 ur panadol!] ....

went to sick bay..KO for 2 hours straight..woke up..was a bit beta..then went to study..omg..the table moved..the words in front of me SWAYED!..whoa..take another gurl's panadol [thx to sheenaz's frewn/classmate!]...

and slept...

went tuition..

went home..

sry every1 for making u worried bout my athsma + headache..

[thx for all ur help..help appreciated! =)]

I guess these days sometimes u might catch me in a daze..

im v sad with life..

disappointed with everything.. my academics..my shooting..everything..i cant seem to juggle..

yet i knoe i have to move ahead..

the others r way in front of me in the race against tym..

but can i keep up?

can i catch up?

Can i win?

i must..

i have to..

this izint the tym to tink abt all these

now what matters..is FOCUS...sleep well..eat well..rest well..study well..train well..

so that my mind..

so that i can mentally prepare..

for me, its all in my mind...

its all in my emotions..

its all in my heart..

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i have finally gotten over him..

i see him..the sense of elatedness has gone..

no more being excited when i c him...

i always have to call him..

he neva calls me.. which means that this is jux a one-sided love..

im over him..he is the past..wad matters now is the present and the future..

if he neva calls/toks to me without me initiating a topic of discussion, so be it...

there r more ppl hu deserves my tym more then him...

eventhough i admire him...

guess love jux doesnt go well with a gurl lyk me..

niways, there is still my pistol and my studies begging for my attention n tym..
i guess i beta spend more tym with them..

~mixed feelings~